This post is something I've wanted to write for a while,
but I was having trouble pulling my thoughts together. Part of the reason I
started this blog in the first place, called it "Chickhammer," and
chose my tagline is because I want to talk about what it's like being female
in our male-dominated hobby. I need to start by talking to people
already in the hobby about some small things they can do to make the environment friendlier
for women.
I should explain just what I mean by a friendlier
environment. Obviously, we're not a pack of wild dogs. But, you probably have
noticed that the wargaming culture, and the "geek" culture in
general, skews largely male. The interesting exception to this is the video games, where
women are about 40% of the players. It's hardly remarkable now when a woman
says she plays video games, whereas fifteen years ago it was "a big
deal."
The wargaming community, though, still suffers from a
large gender disparity. This has been very evident in my own experience. In
every tournament I've attended, I have been either the only woman there, or one
of two. In fact, I have only played against another woman once, but it was a teaching
game, she's a real-life friend who's new to the hobby
(props to her for joining the ranks, might I add). Our online community is no different;
there are few women I come across when reading posts and commentary.
So why aren't more ladies joining in on wargaming? Like all sub-cultures, our community, suffers from the same ills as the society
at large. In the US specifically, our society does not always respect or value
its women and no sub-group is immune to this bias. This devaluation of women is
something that happens no matter the group (in fact, I already wrote a piece
about
wrestling doing this). Those influences are why we find the same cultural biases lodged in the
corners of our own community.
That doesn't mean, however, that we have to put up with
it nor does it mean there's nothing we can do about it. The
beautiful part about it is that we all control our own actions, and can change
our behavior. I will not speak to the general vitriol of the community, as it was done so well on
Faeit 212 that there’s no reason for me to comment further.
Rather, I’d like to point out some things that have
happened to me in this community, and why some of these things impede women from wanting
to join. Some of these experiences have been
good, and some bad, but the over-all experience has been a welcoming and
positive one.
- In the first GT I went to, one of my games was
played in nearly complete silence, because my opponent didn't say more than
three words to me at a time. Perhaps he was just shy, but it made for a very long game.
- I’ve heard "Wow, you're a girl that plays
Warhammer?" more times than I can count. When asked this, I often feel I'd
get less incredulity if I were a leprechaun or had two heads.
- During a tournament game,
my opponent offered me a beer from his under-the-table cooler. He's hands-down
the nicest person I've ever played, although I do believe I still owe him a beer.
- I've played a few dirty cheating cheaters (who hasn't?). The first person I ever played that I didn't know
personally was one of these people. I was so green, I didn't know better, and didn’t know his army at all. It wasn't
until talking afterwards that my experienced friends realized
I'd been taken advantage of.
- A friend of one opponent asked me out for
drinks, during our game. My opponent's reply was "Man, not cool. We're in
the middle of a game." Good on you, sir.
These are just a few examples, but as I said, over-all, I've felt very welcomed. Unfortunately, this is almost entirely due to the
awesome people I game with regularly and has no bearing on what I can expect outside of them. Sexism in the community, not just in person but
also online, is at unacceptable levels. If I did not personally know some very
nice people who were in the hobby, the shameful way the online
aspect of the community conducts itself would have turned me completely away.
If you don’t have these friends (or know where to make
the acquaintance of some), you’re going to have a harder time of it. I was
lucky to be introduced into a club full of people who have been very supportive
of me. These people taught me how to play and to be a
"good" player. By that, I mean
a respectful opponent who isn't constantly bemoaning how bad their dice rolls are
(although, some days, your dice are out to get you).
That being said, there are some specific things I’d like
to address based on my experiences. My hope is that by talking about these things, it'll make the community a little more aware. The first thing is that you can talk to me. I am
perfectly capable of speech, and it makes the game far more enjoyable when you
get to know your opponent a little and can talk about the game, their army, the
tournament, each other's lives- whatever.
In actually holding a conversation with me, you might
find out I'm twenty-four years old, hold a full time job, and have an awesome
dog. These things indicate that I am adult, and therefore not a
girl. Calling me a girl is both demeaning and patronizing, regardless of your
intention when saying it. It diminishes my validity as someone to be taken
seriously amongst our peers. I don't call you a boy, because you aren't one. We’re
both adults here, so please don't call me a girl. It sets me up as being less
than your equal.
